When I learned my ex-wife’s true intentions, I refused to give her money so she could buy food for herself and our children.

In November 2023, an anonymous user posted on the “AITA” subreddit about a confusing circumstance involving his ex-wife’s need for help. The couple divorced, then got married again, but the man kept shared custody of their 15- and 12-year-old children.
After a recent marital turmoil, his ex-wife fell on hard times and needed assistance with groceries. After giving her request some thought, the man decided to be generous and offered a variety of foods from his pantry and freezer, such as elk, venison, wild hog, and various meats.

But rather than agree to this arrangement, his ex-wife demanded payment in cash for takeaway, which the man refused. He made a practical attempt to support her and their kids, but she accused him of expecting thanks for “scraps.”
Online discussion on the man’s refusal to give money was spurred, with some criticising him for not fulfilling his ex-wife’s request. Still, most commenters agreed with him, calling him “NTA” (Not The A**hole). They applauded his decision to give food, comparing it to feeding a panhandler instead of giving them cash outright.

I think it was right for the man to turn down financial aid. Given his duty for the children’s welfare during his custody times, he showed true charity by giving his ex-wife a considerable supply of food to ease her financial burdens.
In a similar circumstance, I think I would take a similar stance and give more weight to helpful advice than financial assistance. In the end, the man’s actions highlight how difficult it is to navigate post-divorce duties with sensitivity and practicality.

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