Tressa Middleton, a Scottish woman, has become the youngest mum in the UK. The girl became pregnant by her 16-year-old brother Jason in 2006. She was sexually abused by her brother from the age of seven, but was afraid to admit to anyone. Her mum had enough problems without her, the girl thought. Tracy Tallons was struggling with alcohol and drug addiction at the time and had no time for her children.

At the age of 11, Tressa became pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. The baby girl was taken to an orphanage and James was put behind bars for four years. About the fact that the child’s father is her own brother, Tressa was able to tell only two years later. A DNA test confirmed James’ paternity. After these terrible events, Tressa could not recover for a long time. She suffered from depression, used alcohol and drugs.

In 2011 the girl met her love and future husband Darren. Tressa resorted to the help of a specialist and established her life. A year later, she had a miscarriage. And three days later her mother died of pneumonia. Having survived these tragic moments, Tressa found strength and again thought about a child. Four years later, Arianna was born. Tressa wishes her mum had never seen her granddaughter. After all, at the birth of her first child, Tracey was supportive of her daughter.

– Losing a baby and a mum in the same week was hard. It was also hard thinking that my mum would never get to meet Arianna. I know she would have loved her granddaughter and been proud of her. She was with me when I had my first daughter and when Arianna was born, I was sad that my mum wasn’t around anymore. I think about her all the time and there are many moments I wish I could share with my mum, like when Arianna laughed for the first time. Arianna admitted that she was very happy with the birth of her daughter, but the thought of her first child kept her busy.

– I felt pure joy the moment Arianna was born. There were times when I thought I would never give birth again, like it wasn’t meant to be. But I also feel guilt because Arianna is with me and my oldest daughter is not. My mornings start with the thought of her and the last thing I think about when I go to bed is how she is. I love her and I will always be her mum. I can’t be happy without her. It hurts me to think that Arianna will grow up without her big sister.

Tressa hopes that someday the sisters will meet and be together. In the meantime, the mum has only memories and some of the baby’s belongings. Tressa keeps a memory of her daughter’s handprint, her clothes and a strand of her hair.

– Arianna will always know she has a big sister. I’m already talking to her about it now, even though she doesn’t understand it yet. They are complete opposites. Arianna is smiling and quiet, while the first daughter was so boisterous. I tell Arianna that if her sister was here, they would play together. I joke that Arianna would tail her and they would probably piss each other off. I really hope they can meet one day. It would mean a lot to me. Tressa will try to provide her daughter Arianna with a happy childhood, which she herself missed so much. But the girl doesn’t judge her mother.

– I want Arianna to have a normal childhood where she knows she is loved and safe. I loved my mum and she tried her best, but she was losing the fight. At times I just wanted a routine, watching TV and going to bed on time like other families. I couldn’t talk to her about everything that was going on with me because she had enough problems of her own. God forbid that Arianna has to go through what I had to go through. I wish she didn’t have any secrets from me.

Tressa will always remember her first daughter. The last time she saw her was when the little girl was three years old.

– I didn’t realise that was the last time I would see her. She didn’t recognise me and she was scared. I couldn’t hug her, I had to distance myself to talk to her. Worst of all, when she cried and called for mummy, she didn’t mean me, she meant her foster mum. I wasn’t even allowed to say “mummy loves you” so as not to embarrass her.

Now the girl is 11 years old. Tressa sends her birthday and Christmas presents every year, but there has been no response for three years. The girl hopes her foster parents didn’t tell the child her mother’s horror story.

– I hope her foster parents don’t tell her I got pregnant because Jason raped me. I don’t want her to read about it in the paper. I think I should tell her myself. I want to explain everything to her when she’s old enough to understand. As for Arianna, I’d rather she didn’t know the details of my past. She should have her own life, and she is my new beginning.